My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
