the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
did you just send me my own nude
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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