everyone is single if you try hard enough
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Randomize
