I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
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