he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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