we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When did angry sex become our thing?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My vagina just clenched in fear
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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