he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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