He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize