My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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