In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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