I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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