Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I want to have your abortion
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
