No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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