I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He uses pillows to masturbate.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
