my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
