The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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