If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
