Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
