My pussy is not your playground.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
