So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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