would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
