lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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