i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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