just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize