True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
