Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
