Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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