We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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