guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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