My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Too much gin, very little bucket
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
