Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
