how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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