I love black thongs
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize