so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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