3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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