you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
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We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
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LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
do nipples grow back?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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