the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
