ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
