As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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