I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
