is your mom at the bar?
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i just google imaged poop.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
do nipples grow back?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
