i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
