you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize