woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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