Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize