he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
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Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
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What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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