I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
and she was petting her beer can
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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