dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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