I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
