You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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