Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
