they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Randomize
