when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize