haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
