every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize