Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
