she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
