Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
