I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
there was a trapeze. enough said
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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