That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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