I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
