I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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