I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
