I wish I could teleport
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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