I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
